Website RX: 3 Ailments That May Be Plaguing Your Product Page (+ How to Cure Them)

Web Copy Maladies

The biotech company, Smart Cap, has a brilliant safety solution for construction business owners.

But you wouldn't know it by reading their Product page.

Because it's suffering from 3 ailments that tank website conversions and increase bounce rates. If left untreated, these ailments will cause massive hemorrhaging in this website's ROI.

So, let's take a look at Smart Cap's Product page maladies, and apply the copy treatments that will stop the bleeding.

Then you can take what you've learned and apply the treatments to your own Product page(s) to lower bounce rates and increase conversions.

Here Are the 3 Ailments Affecting Smart Cap's Product Page:

1. Useless Information in Headlines and/or at the Top of a Page

At first glance, you might think placing the word "Products" atop the Products page is a logical thing to do. Seems pretty harmless, right? Plus, lots of other sites do it. So what's the big deal?

This is the big deal:

Your website visitors look at what's on the top of your page first — and longest.

It's like a billboard for the rest of your page.

And your visitors will use the info they find there to judge whether or not they want to keep reading. If there's nothing useful or attention-grabbing, they'll likely jump off the page.

And I don't know about you, but I don't find the heading, "Products," that useful. And it definitely doesn't grab me by the lapels.

2. Clever Wording Instead of Clear Copy

Giving your brand a personality is a good thing. And it can pay to be witty. But it never pays to be clever at the expense of clarity.


Because your visitors don't really care if you can turn a phrase or not. They care if you can solve their problems. And if they can't understand what your product is and exactly how it can help them, they'll never decide to buy it.

Which is also why you don't want the next ailment to plague your Product page:

3. Complicated Sentence Structures and/or "Corporate Speak"

Even if you're targeting businesses, you don't want your Product page copy to be hard to read. (Hint: if your product descriptions sound like an elevator pitch, then they're probably missing the mark.)

Your Product page copy should be professional, but also conversational. Much like a live sales conversation.

For example, imagine your sales team using this phrase when talking to prospects in person: "Lifeband's real time monitoring enables proactive intervention to better manage fatigue risk and eliminate micro sleeps on site."

Hopefully, your team has better conversational skills than that!

This phrase is much better: "Lifeband's EEG monitoring technology warns drivers and operators to pull over when they're at risk of dozing. Not when they're already asleep."

See the difference?

Now that you understand why these 3 mistakes hurt your web pages, let's see what it looks like when we treat the problems:

Smart Cap's Product Page After Treatment:

A Re-cap of the 3 Copy Treatments in Action:

  • The word "Products" has been dropped from the top of the page. Now, the product heading and description can get the attention they deserve.

  • The vague headline, "Where Fatigue is the Problem, Life is the Answer", has been dropped. The new headline reads like this: "The Real-Time Fatigue Monitor That Keeps Operators, Drivers — and Everyone Around Them — Safe". You can now plainly understand what the product is, who it's for and the benefits of using it.

  • Long, hard-to-read sentences have been replaced with multiple sentences that are easier to read.

Before, this sentence was hard to read: "Our wearable technology prevents microsleeps by providing accurate alertness measurements in real time to operators and drivers so they can take charge when it comes to safety."

Now that sentence is replaced with 3 simpler sentences: "Life is an adjustable smart-band that fits inside baseball caps, hardhats and anything between. It monitors fatigue levels in real-time and alerts drivers and operators when they're too tired to keep driving. So they can pull off—BEFORE they doze off.

Hopefully, you didn't recognize any of these copy maladies. But if you did, you now know how to fix them. So get to it and watch your conversions soar!

Seem complicated?

I'd be glad to help.

Schedule a discovery call to see how.

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